How do i leave my past behind?

Let me get this straight. You say you were 10 months old when you was first abused(ually)The question i have for you is? How can you remember anything at 10 months? When you don't even know what you are.?. For simple reasons. You can't talk,walk sit up,know when its time to eat,sleep.don't know day from night,left from right, what your name is,when to go to the bathroom, and all that stuff. So how can you remeber what happened to you at that age. I think you beleive all this stuff happened to you, because of what goes on in your life. And you blame it on other things except yourself. I think you are using it as an excuse, because you don't want admit you were wrong about things. So you cling on to something that we can not prove any of these things happened to you?